Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
