I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
