i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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