sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
