I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
