Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
