i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
