i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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