"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
