I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
