ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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