Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the condom got lost in my hair
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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