he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
