I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
