is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
