I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
