Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
