you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
