in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
