You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
tell me about the eggs
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
