I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
