I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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