Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
