he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
