It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
