Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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