I didn't shave. On purpose
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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