My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
