i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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