So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
