p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
