Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
did you get engaged???
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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