You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she woke up with a sticky ear
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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