I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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