I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
