Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
