On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Welp...herpes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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