i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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