I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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