try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
