I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think a kid would responsible me up
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
