when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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