That's intense
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
