At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My cat gives me a boner
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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