how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
