so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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