im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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