How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
