i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
