What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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